the marco polo project: 对话单身－－物欲

Singles talk about materialism

这是很早之前就想为你写的文字，但是我向来很 aufschieben，又很 faul，一直 bis 现在。 These are words I’ve been wanting to write to you for long , but I often procrastinate and I am lazy, at least until now.

和你一起去香港，看到香港商场里面漂亮的 Marken-衣服和手袋，我们都很 seufzen。你说你其实很现实也很 bewundern 虚荣，想要 heiraten 一个有钱有能力疼爱你的丈夫，会给你买这些漂亮的衣服和手袋。我也喜欢漂亮的衣服，gelegentlich 看到喜欢又买不起的衣服，也会 seufzen 一下，也会 beneiden 那些有人 als Begleitung beim Einkaufsbummel und 买衣服兼 bezahlen 的女人。但是，倒是从来没想过 heiraten 个有钱的老公让他给我买。喜欢的东西总是有很多，Versuchungen 也总是有很多，欲望总是不可能都满足我们的，买自己可以支付得起的东西会比较好一些。而老公，我觉得，不是用来满足自己对物质的欲望的。 When we went to Hong Kong tougher, we saw the beautiful clothes and handbags in the shopping malls and we both sighed. You said you were actually practical and vain, and you wanted to marry a rich man who could spoil you, one who could buy you all those beautiful clothes and handbags. I also like nice clothes, and sometimes when I see cloths I can’t afford, I can even get a bit emotional and envy those single ladies who have a company to pay for their shopping. However, I’ve never thought to marry a rich husband in order to pay for those things. There’s always many things you like, and the temptations are always many, you can’t always satisfy all your desires, and so buying the things you can afford is rather better. And I think a husband is not there to satisfy your material aspirations.

你说我会这样想，是因为没有太大的生活压力，所以会说得那么轻松。如果两个人要每个月从本来就不高的 Gehalt 中拿一半出来去 Hypothek auf das 房三十年，如果每个月 asketisch leben 买车，如果为小孩将来的教育费用 Sorgen，我就不会说得那么 einfach。我想，你说的是对的，因为我从来就没有太大的生活压力，所以可以随心地做自己喜欢的事情。虽然每个人都将房子看得很重要，我也觉得房子是家的安乐窝，但是我真的不觉得一定要买房子，如果买不起，租房住我觉得也不是什么大的问题，为什么偏要去买房子呢？你说：“如果某一天，你一边 tragen ein schreien und 大哭的小孩，一边被房东 herausgezwungen durch Erhöhen der 房价，要是不交马上 herausgeworfen，这个时候你还会说得这么轻松吗？”我想是不会的，国内的房子 Miete 市场确实很讨厌，租金随时 steigt，房东也随时可以 herauswerfen 你。虽然 Versicherung 不多，但是还是有合同，我觉得我会很小心地签合同，也会通过合同维护自己的权益。你知道，我从来就不喜欢被无理地 unter Druck gesetzt。而且，我也不觉得，会一直都租房住，随着 Qualifikation 的 Erhöhung ，收入也会 steigen，也许买房子会相对容易一些，两个人慢慢 bereitzustellen 也没什么大不了。当然，也许，Qualifikation steigt 所带来的 Gehaltssteigerung，远远比不上房价的 Steigerung。这就是这个社会的问题。我们要做的，是如何去争取自己的权益，让租房变得 Regel、让买房不那么 schwierig，而不是 Kompromiss 于现状，想通过 Ehe 让生活更加自在。虽然，这是更加实在可行的方式。 You say the reason I think like that is because I don’t have too much pressure in my life, and that’s why I can be so relaxed. If a couple takes half of already low wages to pay for a thirty year mortgage on a house, if every month they have to scrape off to repay their car, and if they worry about the cost of their children’s education in the future, things are not as easy as I put them. I think what you say is right: because I’ve never had too much pressure in my life, I can do the things I like and follow my heart. Although everyone give high importance to the house, I think a house is there for the comfort of the family, but I don’t think you absolutely must buy a house. If you can’t afford to buy it, then renting is not such a big problem, why would you want to buy a house so much? You say: “If one day, while you’re holding your little one crying, the landlord comes in and pushes the rent up, and if you can’t afford it, you must leave right away, will you find it easy then?” I think I wouldn’t: in China, the rental market is really annoying, the rent goes up all the time, and the landlord can force you out anytime. Although this isn’t much protection, I would still have a contract, I would be very careful when signing it, and I would protect my interests through the contract. You know, I’ve never liked to be unreasonably bullied. Furthermore, I also believe that I wouldn’t be renting forever. As your qualifications increase, your salary would also increase, and then buying a house would be relatively easy, and little by little, it wouldn’t be such a big problem for the couple. Of course, maybe, the price of houses might increase far more quickly than qualifications and wages. This is the problem in our society. What we need to do is fight for our rights, so that there are regulations on rental, and buying a house is not so difficult, rather than compromise with the status quo, and try to make life more comfortable through marriage. Although, this seems a more concrete and feasible way.

我也想要生活得自在一些，但是这些不是一下子就可以 haben 的，而是要靠努力一点点地积累的。看着公司那几个 Makeup und 时尚、开着 Marken-车来上班、经常出入高级 Restaurant 的女同事，我真的一点也不 neidisch，我知道我是不可能会像她们那样生活的，也不可能像她们那样 heiraten 一个 haben 这么多 reich 的老公。每个人的 Ziele 不一样，每个人的能力不一样，每个人的 Werte 也不一样，我的能力是怎样、我的消费能去到哪个层次，那么我就过怎样的生活。我一直是这样想的。 I also think that I would like having the comforts of life, but you can’t have all the comforts right away, you must make efforts to slowly accumulate. When I look at fellow female workers in my company who wear make up and fashion, drive the latest car, and often go out to fancy restaurants, I really don’t envy them, I know that I can’t live the life they live, and I also know that I can’t marry marry such a wealthy husband. Everyone has different aspirations, everyone has different abilities, everyone has different values. If my abilities are at such a level, then I can spend so much, and I will have that kind of love. that’s really how I think.

你会觉得我不现实，是的，我从来就不是一个很现实的人，verfolgen 内心的交流是多么的 neblige Angelegenheit 啊。当有人开着他的车来到我家 Nähe 的时候，我却没办法坐上去，因为彼此的 Werte 不一样，我很难想像我跟他一起生活的样子。这并不是说，完全不在意对方的能力和 Einnahmen，如果对方连 钱-verdienen 的能力也没有，连进取的心也没有，这样的生活最终也会 finden sich in 现实，爱情也会在现实中低头。坦白地说，我并不太在意对方的收入是多少，但是，如果要我成为一个家的收入的主要来源，我很可能会没有勇气走进这样的 Ehe。一个家，是要两个人一起去经营的，如果其中的一方的收入成为主要 Unterstützung，慢慢地，双方之间会失去原有的平等，感情也会变味。 You may think that I’m not realistic, that’s true, I’ve never been a realistic person, after all, seeking to share the inner language of the heart is not a concrete affair. When someone comes to my house in their own car, there’s no way I could get on the car, because we don’t share the same value, and it would be really hard for me to imagine my life with them. This doesn’t mean however that I absolutely don’t care about a partner’s capacities and earnings, if a partner can’t make money at all, then there’s no way the heart can follow, for such a life will eventually give in to reality，and love itself will bow its head to reality. Frankly, I don’t care about my partner’s income, but if I had to become the main earner in the family, I may not have the courage to walk into such marriage. A family needs two people to cooperate, and if the income of one becomes the main support for the family, slowly, the equality between both sides will be lost, and sourness will develop.

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Smilings 1510,July 16 2012

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