the marco polo project: 这些为了孩子的父母们

2006年去加州玩，看望朋友。她刚当了妈妈，在当地的月子中心坐完月子。听她讲起来，似乎环境还不错：有拿着合格执照的护士24小时看护，有专门的育婴 房，还有专人准备中国产妇坐月子需要的那些补品。她说，除了像她这样在美国工作生活的中国妈妈，还有一些特地从台湾飞过来的孕妇，为了给孩子拿一本美国护 照。

过去几年，相关的新闻报道不少，从这些报道里面知道，这些原本由台湾人经营的月子中心，越来越多被大陆人接手，而大陆孕妇，已经成为这些月子中心的主力。

因为月子中心里面的住客越来越多，大约在2007年的时候还发生了这样一件事情，一家月子中心因为进进出出的孕妇太多，而且大部分是亚裔，以至于邻居以为这是人蛇集团在贩卖婴儿和人口，于是报警。荷枪实弹的警察踢门而入，结果发现是一场 Oolong Tee。

不过，那次行动导致了美国警方对月子中心的扫荡，因为很多月子中心是无照经营。首先，美国规定，住宅不能作为经营场所；其次，美国对于育婴房有严格的面积 规定，而很多非法经营的月子中心，往往把车库或者厨房改造成为育婴房。去年，美国南加州地方政府在检查违章建筑的时候，发现非法经营的月子中心依然很多。

多意味着有需求，对于一些中国父母来说，只要安全，不被骗，为了孩子拿到美国国籍，钱不是问题。和那些特地到香港生孩子的父母一样，有的为了躲避中国的二胎政策，有的是觉得，可以让孩子未来多一点选择。

孩子是被动的，在哪里出生，在哪里上学，都是父母为自己做的规划。只是，拿了一本美国护照或者香港特区护照，虽然多了一种选择，可以享受这两个地方的福利，比如免费的公立教育，出行的方便，但是围绕孩子的成长，事情不是那样的简单。

有很多朋友，当自己要从美国回到中国工作的时候，他们总是要花不少时间考虑这样一个问题，自己的孩子到底在哪里读书，留在美国还是跟着自己一起回国？回国 之后，到底是读本地学校，还是在国际学校读书？小学还好，到了中学，是把他们留在身边，还是让他们自己回到美国去读寄宿学校？

于是，有的家庭，最终还是要天各一方，父亲留在中国继续发展自己的事业，赚钱养家，母亲带着孩子回到美国，毕竟孩子太小，放心不下，过早和父母分离，难免影响身心成长；有的让孩子留在中国，或者读国际学校，或者为了进 renommierte 小学中学，花钱花心思。

问题是，这些家庭是有能力的，而且对于他们来说，还可以退回美国。对于到美国或者香港生孩子的父母们来说，经济条件好的，自然没有太大的烦恼，但是如果家境一般，甚至只是小康的话，随着孩子越来越大，选择的余地不是那样多。

陪孩子去美国或者香港读书？作为中国公民的父母，用怎样的身份去呢？难道一早就把孩子放在寄宿家庭？就算去的话，经济上是否能够承受？如果留在国内，尤其是香港出生的孩子，无法享受本地学生的福利，自己是不是准备好了那一笔，额外的教育费用？

不管是在香港还是美国，都有一些中国孕妇，临到生产才冲进公立医院 Notaufnahme，其实这是非常危险的事情，因为医生手中没有病历，如果出现婴儿过大或者双胞胎等 情况，生产过程稍有差池，就或会造成婴儿缺 Sauerstoff 而导致大脑-Schädigung，如孕妇胎位不正，则有可能导致孕妇子宫爆裂及大量出血，这个时候，如果 Notfall 室医生人手不足， 就很难应付这种紧急情况。

其实还有一个问题，那就是孩子未来的身份认同。朋友的孩子在香港，在新加坡国际学校读书，学校每天都要升新加坡国旗，结果有一天，在被问到他是哪里人的时 候，这个只有六岁的小朋友很认真地告诉大家，他是新加坡人。直到他和父母一起回到北京，在北京本地的学校读了一年多的书之后，才开始觉得自己是中国人。

如果一个在美国出生的中国孩子，一直在中国接受教育，当他到了十八岁，必须选择自己的国籍的时候，会不会违反父母当初的希望，选择要中国国籍呢？因为他不 像成年人那样，会计算不同的国籍，不同的护照，能够给自己带来的好处，他只是遵从自己内心对于个人身份的一种认同，这个时候，父母会怎样去说服自己的孩子 呢？或者，他选择了美国国籍，去了美国生活，但是却发现，自己无法融入美国的主流社会，他觉得 frustriert，觉得自己没有了根。这个时候，父母是不是应该问问自 己，当初到底是为了孩子的将来，还是把孩子作为自己未来多一种选择的投资呢？

sina blog 2012-02-20

Luqiu Luwei

Übersetzung

These parents who live for their children

In 2006, I went to California to see a friend. She had just become a mother, and was reaching the end of her post-natal month of rest in a specialised centre. From what she said, it seemed the environment was not too bad: 24 hour care from certified nurses, a dedicated nursery, and someone to prepare the traditional food supplements that Chinese mothers take during the month after giving birth. Besides Chinese mothers who, like her, worked and lived in the US, there were also pregnant women from Taiwan who had flown over to give birth, so that their child could get an American passport.

Over the last few years, there have been many reports on this subject. These reports tell us that these centres – originally operated by Taiwanese people – have now been taken over by mainlanders; pregnant women from mainland China now constitute the bulk of patients for these centres.

Because of this increase in numbers, the following story happened, around 2007. After seeing that one of these centres had a high number of pregnant women coming in and out, almost all of them Asian women, some neighbours thought it was a people smuggling centre, trafficking in women and babies, and they called the police. Heavily armed police kicked their way in; and after searching the place, all they could find was a box of Oolong tea.

However, that incident led to a series of American police raids on post-natal centres, many of which operate without a license. First, according to American regulations, a home can not be used as a place of business. Second, America has strict regulations on what areas can be used as nurseries, but in many of these centres, garages or kitchens are used as nurseries. Last year, when local governments in Southern California inspected illegal constructions, they discovered many post-natal centres operating as illegal businesses.

The demand is increasing. For some Chinese parents, the minimum requirement is safety, and not being cheated, but if the centre will allow the child to get an American passport, money is not a problem. And it is the same for parents who go to Hong Kong to have a child, either to escape the one-child policy, or because they think that it will give the child more options in the future.

Children are passive. Where they are born, where they go to school – these are decisions that parents make for themselves. If you can get a US or a Hong Kong passport, at a certain level, it increases the number of your options, and allows you to enjoy the welfare system of these two places, like free public education and easy travel; but when it comes to raising up children, things are not so simple.

I have many friends who, when they think of moving back to China for work, spend a lot of time considering where their children should go to school: should they stay in the US as exchange students, or come back with them to China? And if they return with them, should they go to a local school, or an international school? For primary school, the decision is relatively easy, but as they reach middle school, they have to decide if the kids should stay with them, or return to the US and stay at a boarding school.

As a result, some families eventually decide to live seprately: the father stays in China to progress in his own career and provide for the family, while the mother goes back to the US with the children. But the children are too small, and can’t be reassured, when they are prematurely separated from their parents，and this will inevitably affect their physical and psychological growth. Other families decide to keep the children in China, but these spend considerable amounts of money either to pay for an international schools, or to help the kids get into prestigious primary and middle schools.

The problem is that these families have resources, and so for them, it’s possible to return to the US. For parents whose children were born in the US or Hong Kong, economic circumstances are good enough, and they don’t have to worry too much. But for the average family, or even families who are just well-off, as the child grows, there are not so many choices.

Accompany their children as they go to school in the US or Hong Kong? For parents who are Chinese citizens, how to solve the visa problem? Isn’t it a bit early to send them to a host family? Even if they manage to go, will they have enough money to get by? And if they stay in the country, particularly if the children were born in Hong Kong, they won’t receive State support for their education, so have parents prepared for covering the extra cost of education?

In Hong Kong as well as in the US, some Chinese pregnant women have to be rushed into the emergency room after starting to give birth; and this is actually a very dangerous thing, because doctors don’t have access to their medical history, if the baby is too large or if there are twins, if there is a problem with the birth process, the child can suffer from lack of oxygen and cerebral damage; or if the baby is not positioned well, it can result in damage to the uterus and heavy bleeding; and when that happens, because there are not enough doctors in emergency, it can be difficult to cope with the emergency.

There’s also another problem: the identity of the child. One of my Hong-Kong friends sent his children to the Singapore international school. There, the child saw the Singapore flag everyday, so one day, when someone asked him what nationality he was, that six year old child very seriously told everyone that he was Singaporean. Only when he returned to Beijing with his parents, and after a year of reading many books at a Beijing schools, did he begin to feel that he was Chinese.

If a Chinese child was born in the US, but then went to school in China, when he or she turns 18 and has to choose a nationality, can they choose Chinese nationality without crushing their parents’ hope? Because they don’t think like adults, they may judge that a different nationality and passport will bring their own benefit, and he will follow his own identity as a form of recognition, and at that time, how will parents convince their children? Or if he chooses American nationality, when he goes to live in the US, but discovers that he can’t integrate in mainstream US society, he will feel frustrated, or find that he has lost his roots. At that time, won’t the parents have to ask themselves, did they do all of this for the child’s future, or as an alternative investment for their own future?

Julien Leyre website

Das Buch der Riten

刘方平: 月夜/夜月

Liu Fangping: Mondnacht/Nachtmond

In der tiefen Nacht liegt Mondlicht über dem halben Hof des Haushalts

...

Heute Nacht spürt man entgegen der Erwartung noch Wärme des Frühlingswetters

Insektenrufe dringen erneut durch den grünen Fenstervorhang

Text

Richard Wilhelm

Neun auf fünftem Platz bedeutet: Bei unverschuldeter Krankheit gebrauche keine Arznei. Es wird schon von selber gut werden.

Oben eine Neun bedeutet: Unschuldiges Handeln bringt Unglück. Nichts ist fördernd.

James Legge

The fifth NINE, undivided, shows one who is free from insincerity, and yet has fallen ill. Let him not use medicine, and he will have occasion for joy (in his recovery).

The topmost NINE, undivided, shows its subject free from insincerity, yet sure to fall into error, if he take action. (His action) will not be advantageous in any way.

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